I imagine if I asked this candidate for a portfolio I’d receive a coloring book and they’d expect me to be impressed by the fact that they were able to stay within the lines. The bad news is that agencies don’t rate work with gold stars and check pluses. If you are in fact unique you don’t have to tell people about it. Everyone should be able to figure it out rather quickly as its definition implies you noticeably stand out from others in your field. However, in this person’s defense, they are distinctive in that I haven’t seen a resume that bad in a long time. I appreciate the unique opportunity she has given me to rant. Am I being to harsh? No. Because these “man-childs” are the ones who end up finding my phone number, stalk calling me and either angrily or depressively telling me about their inability to find a job. “Why don’t I enlighten them?” - you may ask. To which I say, “You mean besides the fact that they are probably beyond help as it pertains to this issue?” Well, they also generally don’t handle criticism well because they are either not self-aware and/or not aware of what is going on in the industry which they are so desperate to be a part.

 To conclude: The subjectivity of creativity only goes so far. You can quote me on that. Not only should you know the industry you desire to be successful in and what level of personal presentation is expected but you should never use an acronym, onomatopoeia, or any other such word formation unless you are positive you are using it in an innovative (way no one has used it before including elementary students) manner.

The subjectivity of creativity only goes so far. You can quote me on that. 

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