Usually, individuals think of recruiters as people who will do anything for a buck and would expect me to say, “Yeah, you’re right, your job sucks. Follow me into the light of glory.” But here’s the deal. It does me no good to not be honest with you. I have tons of candidates who lost their jobs through no fault of their own due to the struggling economy and I’m doing my best to let them know there is hope, it just might take a little longer than normal. What I don’t need is a bunch of entitled whiners who are so self-important that they probably re-read their own personal blogs and consider it news. The fact is, if you have a job right now, keep it. Love it. Give it a nickname and speak of it fondly.

Of course, if your agency is starting to have lay-offs then by all means get the ball rolling. But if all is well and your agency is busy with projects and campaigns then give thanks, because you are one of the lucky ones. Also, stop complaining about the “hell” that is the city you live in. I guarantee you that hell is nothing like Cincinnati, Memphis, or even Detroit. No, I’ve never been there – to hell that is – but according to certain sources, those being religious texts and various blockbuster movies, there’s no inexpensive property, Elvis museums, or new cars in hell. In fact, I’m pretty sure you don’t get to do anything fun there, ever. So stop complaining and start enjoying what you have, your job, if you have one. And to celebrate, find the best bar in town – there has to be one – and buy yourself that $10 beer with that paycheck you’re still getting. When the economy turns around and agencies are hiring like they used to, I’ll give a call and get you that dream job.

Not buying it? It’s not just me who thinks that seeing the glass as half full will make a positive impact on your life. Check out this article and this one … how about this one. Wait, here’s one more.

The job market is tough right now, you can’t change that. What you can change is your outlook. That next phone call may just be a recruiter with an opportunity that fits you perfectly. Sounding optimistic and positive about yourself conveys confidence and the people you interview with will easily pick up on that.

Hang in there! You never know what’s going to happen tomorrow, so meet it with a positive attitude.

You see, I’ve been in this recruiting game for a long time now. I have a set of rules that I play by and I lay out my expectations from that very first phone call. I expect open communication and I expect honesty. That’s it. I don’t get a fee from my candidates and I don’t ask for first born children. I am a free service to you. Can you not at least give me those 2 things?!

But, it’s happened before and it will happen again. Candidates lie. I learned that almost 6 years ago when I got into this business, all green and trusting as I was. My boss told me it was true but I didn’t want to believe it. Not my candidates! They can tell that I respect them and they’ll do the same for me. pshhh…BS! Now, many years later it’s still ringing true. There’s nothing a recruiter can do to stop it. And for those recruiters out there reading this, I’m betting that you’re like me: you never forget the people who burn you. I can still count them all on both hands, which is pretty good I know. But, it never ceases to really get my fire going whenever it happens again.

Let me break the situation down to you in the hopes that you’ll learn what not to do, dear job seeker. I find a fan&*^%ingtastic candidate for a brand new client of mine – and I’m super anal about impressing new clients, so this really was a great candidate. Sweet agency pedigree and all. As is my same old song and dance, I specifically ask said candidate on our first call if he had submitted himself to this client already. He says “No.” As said candidate is recently unemployed and I know he is sending his resume out a lot anyway, I ask again: “Are you sure you haven’t sent your resume to ABC agency within the last year? I know you are doing a lot applying right now…” Again, he answers, “No.” As this is a new client of great prestige, I want to look both ways again before crossing the street, so to speak, so further into our conversation I ask about this issue again, “You haven’t happened to have already spoken to ABC agency already? They are very well known…” Again he says, “No.” Usually I don’t ask that many times, but again, this is brand new client for me and I’m determined for things to go smoothly.

Yes, dear readers, you already know where this is going. I submit the candidate; the very next day I get an email from my client saying that they can not consider said candidate as a referral from me because he applied to them on his own, just the other week. [Insert my wide range of profanities here]

Why am I sharing this with you (other than to vent)? Well, clients know recruiters don’t want to mess with double submissions. Candidates are the ones who end up looking like the unorganized mess – or even worse, as someone who is not straightforward and who is trying to be unethical to get into an agency faster. And, btw the only sure thing that lying to a recruiter is going to get you is a guarantee that the recruiter will never call you about an opportunity ever again. It might also inspire a ranting blog post (case in point).

But, the good news is that you can learn from this candidate’s mistake. All you need to do is to keep track of your job search. It’s the easiest thing in the world! Whenever you send out your resume, write down where you sent it & the date you applied (create a spreadsheet, whatever). Viola! Now when a recruiter asks you if you’ve already submitted your information to their client you can say, “Hang on, let me look at my notes.” Or, if it’s not in front of you, “I’m not 100% sure. Let me take a look at my notes when I get home and I’ll get right back to you on that.” Awesome. Good Job. Gold Star for you.

This little list also comes in handy when you get a call out of the blue from that employer that you sent your resume to over a month ago (do they ever call when you expect them to?!). Instead of, “Umm, Hi! Where did you say you were calling from again? … Oh. And, what position was that for again?” You can refer to your notes and know right away what they’re calling you about! You may even add some additional notes like details of the position. Wow! Look at that, you’re already making a great impression with your keen detailed “memory.”

This isn’t rocket science folks. Stop making things harder than they really are: Keep track of your job search and be upfront with your recruiter.

Now, I’d like to pose a question…

Let me set up the scenario: You are out of a job and/or actively looking under the assumption that you won’t have one much longer. Prior to becoming a lone ranger you were making 170K. (which – cough cough - is probably why you were let go as they hack off the biggest drain to the budget first.)

You contact me and tell me that you are looking around for a Creative Director job. I tell you there is one open that you’d be a great fit for and you don’t even have to relocate. The work is good, the agency environment is awesome, and they are still winning new business. You ask their salary cap and I tell you about 125-135K plus a guaranteed bonus and benefits. And what is your response, “Oh no, I can’t take a job unless I’m making close to 200K.”

What I would like to know is since when, in both actuality and in principle, is staying perpetually unemployed as opposed to accepting a WELL paying job the best of two options? Especially with the knowledge that the longer you stay out of an agency environment the less desirable you are.

One hundred and twenty thousand dollars plus bonuses keeps you in one of the highest income brackets in the United States and people act like I am asking them to sacrifice their three course meals for rice, beans, and dumpster diving. When really, why don’t you just keep the Mercedes and give back the leased beamer? Problem solved.

After all, any of you making more than 200K a year – by 2009 – may very well be paying 67% in taxes on their income which will take them right back to the “take home salary” they refused to be at in the first place. Now, I’m not suggesting bending your income and stifling your career to avoid “the man” – I’m just saying the difference between mid 100’s and mid 200’s isn’t going to be as big of a gap as it used to be.

Long story short, I’d love to get you a job for 200K because that means I’d make more money. But it’s just not going to happen. There are about three people in the advertising industry that an agency would hire – right now – for that much money. And that person is not you. It’s the guy you’ve always dreamed about being. He probably works for BBH and he’s probably a GCD and he’s definitely way more awesome than you. He also probably has a cool, nonchalance about him that just makes people inadvertently empty their pockets. You’ve undoubtedly heard about him, he’s that guy they are always referring to in the Dos Equis commercials, you know, the “Most Interesting Man in the World.”

The market is changing. The country is changing. The world is changing.

Be Flexible.

Everyone needs to stop putting rigid guidelines on their worth and rearrange their expectations. I don’t expect you to take 30K a year for a CD position but I do expect you to be up to date on industry movement and understand that a great job opportunity is worth more than a price tag, alone, indicates.

If you don’t stop demanding Clevelands instead of Benjamins soon you’re going to be on the street in about six months begging for Washingtons.

Quite simply, it’s our clients.

Those of you who have experience job hunting during this time of year know what I’m talking about: everything has a way of s-l-o-w-i-n-g down. I have no idea what happens at some of my client’s offices, but I suspect that vacation time coupled with end of the year type wrap-ups are mostly to blame for the slow down in the interviewing/hiring process. (I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, of course.) But, yes it is very frustrating to get you, my super-star candidate, all jazzed up about an opportunity only to wait 2-3 weeks to hear peep from my client. Meanwhile you, dear candidate, call me every few days to check in.

So, my plea today is to you, my candidates. Please know that I’m doing everything I can to light a fire under the @sses of these agencies. Know that I will most definitely call you as soon as I hear a word back from them. And know that I do feel your pain. If this whole thing were up to me you’d already have the job and arrive in time for their holiday shindig this year. In the meantime, sit tight and get a start on that eggnog. Sometimes all we can do is wait.

Metaphorically of course.

Recently, I was lead to believe that I was speaking to an upbeat, passionate Creative Director who was looking for a new opportunity. He wooed me with his words of grandeur, telling me of how he would do everything necessary to convince my client that he was the right guy for the job. And oh how I believed him.

The agency loved his work and after conducting a phone interview they wanted to take the next step of the all too suspenseful, “Let’s meet in person.” However, because I was aware that he taught advertising at a college on the side I was sure that his proverbial “photo” would match up with the person who arrived at the interview. And to my pleasant, though eventually fleeting excitement, he wowed the agency and they confided that he was “the one.” So, I performed the high school mediation technique of calling up my candidate and saying…

“So Agency X really likes you, do you like them?”

His response was, “I love the people there, I love the work they do, I even love the city the agency is located in, but my only concern is that they want to make a lot of progress in a short period of time and I want to make sure they know the process might take a little longer.”

Ahhh, no biggy right? I’ll just get him on the phone with the ECD with whom I addressed his concerns and have him explain that their “time frame” isn’t set in stone and that my candidate, as the new Creative Director, would be responsible for directing resources, time frame, agency positioning, etc. So I call my candidate and leave a message to tell him that the ECD would love to talk to him any day that works. I don’t hear back for a few days. Call my candidate again. 2 weeks later…nothing. The ECD is now becoming increasingly annoyed, as he has also called my candidate due to the lull and a general concern for his well-being (because “this isn’t like him”), as well as sent an email explaining the expectations of the role AND telling him he wants to make him an offer. Yet, no response. Silence. Angry, frustrating silence. Turns out chatting with someone on the internet or on the phone does not mean that they care about you and your feelings. I feel robbed.

Three weeks later I call this false profit of Creative Direction one more time to explain to him how unprofessional it is to not only ignore me but to not get back to an ECD who has spent time and money to fly you down there. And that he isn’t expected to take an offer necessarily but just have an open dialog about WHY it’s not right for you considering you gave me a five point dissertation on your love for the agency. Who are you and what have you done with that guy I used to talk to on the phone? I miss him.

Months later, I will have you know, I have not heard one peep out of the notorious time burglar. You might be thinking, well maybe something did happen to him. Oh no, fellow friends, he has a worthless personal blog on Ducks or Hockey or Wildlife or the 10 Best Ways to Piss People Off or something that he’s been diligently posting on every week. I find it sad for those poor, open minded college students that they have no idea that their professor is a closet suck hole. I hope they hate going to his class and vandalize his car daily.

But just in case they don’t, I made sure to call all of his references to ask if they had heard from him and then casually inform them that I was worried because he disappeared off the face after receiving a job offer that he never bothered to accept, decline or discuss. And that I didn’t think it was like him to be so unprofessional. Hmmm, weird huh? Yeah, his references thought it was too.

Moral: Don’t piss off your Recruiter and definitely don’t piss off the agencies your Recruiter works for because that will piss your Recruiter off even more. You can decline offers all you want, just go about it in a professional and acceptable manner. For the record, dodging phone calls is not one of them.

I’m currently on the hunt for candidates for a prestigious mid-sized shop. This agency’s clients are huge brands and the shop has a golden reputation. Great clients and a solid rep = candidates beating down their door right? Not exactly. Their office is located in a city in the heartland of American (read: wide open spaces with lots of corn). And unfortunately it is challenging to get people excited about relocating to their neck of the woods. (But hey, that’s why they’re working with me.) 

My suggestion to you, the job seeker, is to approach each new opportunity that knocks on your door with an open mind. Suppose I do call you about the client I mentioned above; if you’re someone who immediately says no, just based on the location, you’re really doing yourself a disservice. Especially if you’re currently unemployed. Instead of saying no right away just because the city didn’t make your top 5, I suggest you turn your focus to the agency. After all, this could be the opportunity of a life time, but you quickly closed the door because you don’t like the idea having to scrape ice off your windshield 3 months out of the year.

Always give things an objection evaluation. First of all, you knew getting into this business that you would have to relocate at some point. You know that, even despite the increasingly crazy economy, the ad industry experiences ups and downs all the time. You realize that this isn’t 1975 and great ad agencies are not only confined to Mad Ave. If you feel the job is a good fit for your background and the agency is one that meets your criteria, why not have a conversation with them? This could be your opportunity for faster promotion, the lead on bigger and better accounts, valuable experience that will make you even more marketable. Not to mention that the pay is much more than you’re currently making.

Really, what do you have to lose by having a 20 minute phone interview? Well, 20 minutes of your time if it’s not the one. But if things do go well, well you know the rest. Magic. The agency has the warm-fuzzies for you and you like what you’ve heard about them, so you accept their invitation for an on-site visit. You fly out to the city in the corn field, and hey, wow! It’s nothing like you imagined. They DO have things to do! They DO have sports teams and unique restaurants and a cool local music scene. Wow! Who knew that cities in the Midwest could have such… character? And hey, your recruiter wasn’t joking about the low cost of living –sweet! You can hardly imagine going back to shoebox condo living again.

Magic can happen folks.

But it all starts with that first call you get from your recruiter. All I’m asking is that you don’t rule an opportunity out just based on the location. Be open to having a conversation with the agency. Do some research on the city in question; chances are you’re sure to find something exciting about it. In this market you owe it to yourself to not let any opportunities pass you by.

The first thing is that because these agencies are my clients I make sure to do my diligence asking questions about what they want, how they want it, and where they want it. (Avoid obvious sexual reference – I am referring to geographic location…freak.) My point is that I know what kind of work they want to see, what kind of background they want candidates to have, and in depth information on the pluses and minuses of being a part of said agency. Candidates seem to think that the last of the three aforementioned items is the one that most applies to them in terms of what I stand to offer. They always want to know, “What is it like there?”, “How is it structured?”, “What accounts?”, “Who would I be working with?”. While I understand that these are important parcels of information most candidates want to jump the gully before I show them how to get to the bridge. A lot of times I contact candidates or get in touch with ones that have previously contacted me that are qualified for the job but something, somewhere needs to be tweaked. This isn’t the army, just because I told you there is an opening doesn’t mean that I’m just going to sign you up no questions asked. Also unlike the army, I will still take you if you have two wooden legs. Elitists.

And that naturally leads me to my second “thing”. I can’t tell you how many candidate’s books I look over where the voice in my head sounds like this, “Ok, good, good, oooh I like that, yes – that is nice, OH NO WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT, good, very good, HOLY S*** I JUST WENT BLIND IN ONE EYE, that works, good.” At this point, if you are interested in the job and would like to move forward I will let you know that you have great work (in terms of what the position requires) and that I think you are a good fit. BUT, that I would rather enjoy it if you could take a few things out of your portfolio that clearly had some creative constraints. You will notice here that I am putting the blame on the client for whom you developed the work as opposed to you for why those pieces suck so terribly. Another way to describe what I am doing here is, I am being nice. But the take away message should always be: if you don’t take that out of your portfolio I’m not sending your work to my client. Yes, even if 85 percent of your book is great. Why would this be? Because they don’t want to bank on the off chance that your alter-ego who hates all things good and creative in this world will emerge and develop work like that for THEIR clients. As I’ve said in many a blog, you need to put your BEST foot forward and not in ratty Birkenstocks either. It’s like trying out for the Circus and showing them you can whistle even though you can shoot flames out of all of your orifices…simultaneously. Show them what you are capable of at your best, they are going to hire you as “Holey Flaming Man” not “Lame Whistler Creep.” Every “advertising professional” can produce crap. In fact, everyone I have ever known has produced crap, so to speak.

So when I ask you politely to take something out of your portfolio, I mean it. If I didn’t think it would benefit you, at the very least, with this position if not others then I wouldn’t have said it. My life is not that boring. Yet, candidates argue with me time and time again about why they will not take things out or tell me how much people like said campaign. Or worse, tell me about how they feel it adds dimension to their book. And I’m thinking, childishly, “Pshhh yea, the ugly dimension.” Long story short, you can sabotage your career on your own time but if you want to move forward with a position I have open then you need to take my advice. Because after all, I’m telling not asking.

Well my friends, I hate to admit it, but things have changed. Facebook is no longer just a place for collegians to display pictures of their drunken frat party activities of yesteryear. It has quickly evolved into a true social and professional networking giant. We must evolve with it.

It should be no surprise to you that employers and recruiters alike often utilize Facebook to scope out potential candidates. Facebook gives us a window into your real life that we may not see under the cover of those big, fancy 4 syllable words on your resume. It allows employers to see who you are on the weekends… as scary as that may be.

And while most of you have this knowledge, it baffles me that so many people choose to ignore it. I can’t even begin to tell you how many totally inappropriate Facebook pages I’ve had the privilege of viewing in the past few months. Candidates, I’m not only talking to you. I bet you have no idea how many HR Directors get wild on the weekends, also! I’ve come across everything from pictures of innocent pole dancing to people taking body shots off of each other. I’ll admit that I had my fair share of fun in college too, but come on! If you want to land that amazing position at a stellar agency, you better go through your online photo albums first.

I’ve decided that some (many) of you need a few Facebook ground rules, so here it goes…

1. Remove pictures of you doing anything illegal… immediately, if not sooner. Maybe it was funny at the time, but I promise that your future employer won’t think so.
2. Don’t post anything that you wouldn’t want your grandma to see.
3. Make sure all of your spelling and grammar is correct. An agency is not going to trust you as a Copywriter if you don’t know the difference between “there” and “their.” And don’t pluralize a word by adding a “z” to it. For instance, “I’ve got mad skillz.”
4. Please remove “looking for random play” under relationship status.
5. Take down any and every picture of you looking like a hoochie on spring break or any other time.

Okay, those are the basics. I know that many of you don’t want to remove pictures of your favorite Pimps n’ Hoes sorority mixer. Trust me, I think I shed a tear when I deleted mine. But times have changed. We’ve grown up. Your Facebook page should too.

Was there a seminar or personal dev class that I missed somewhere along the lines? Apparently most job seekers are under the impression that being as vague as possible on their resumes is benefiting them. Perhaps their (your?) line of thinking goes something like this: “If I use general terms and be as broad as possible then the recruiter/hiring manager is going to think that I have whatever it is they’re looking for!” 

• Is there a section at the top of your resume that reads something like this? “Strengths: Leadership, Organization, Communication Skills, Public Relations, Advertising, Brand Strategy, New Business Development, Mad Computer Skillz”
  If so, please chuck it. Immediately. “Buzz words” are great and make your resume more SEO friendly, yes, but you don’t need them listed at the top of your resume in this format. Use them in appropriate places under your job history to explain your role and accomplishments. A “Strengths” section is a great addition to a resume! Just don’t clutter it with trite junk. Instead, use that space to highlight your specific accomplishments and specific wondrous things you’ve done to make your company a better, more profitable place.
• Advertising & Media people: LIST THE ACCOUNTS YOU HAVE WORKED ON UNDER EACH POSITION YOU’VE HELD. I hope the caps have conveyed to you just how frustrating it is for me when you don’t do this simple thing.
• Non Advertising & Media people: Believe it or not, your job title and company name is not always a dead giveaway to the industry you are working in. And yes, it matters. For many positions the recruiter is looking for candidates who have specific experience in one industry or another. Yes, this includes Admin Assistants and other industry-transferable type of roles. Be thorough, organized, and a good student and include a one sentence description of the company in italic. Hyper-link the company’s web address and you’re getting a gold star.

See, that wasn’t too hard now, was it? A streamlined resume will have your phone ringing much faster and leave your recruiter singing your praises. Pass these tips along to your pals – spread the word – and I’ll be here next week with some more nuggets of goodness for you.